Some days are more challenging than others.
I try to live a happy, easy going sorta life. I don't sweat the small stuff, I take things as they come, and well, love and laughter are my most favourite emotions.
But no matter how hard you try to stay positive and look on the bright side of life, every now and then life will slap you right in the face, with a punch to the heart at the same time, just in case you didn't quite get the message.
During lambing I'm regularly checking the sheep, just keeping a close eye on the flock. If there are newborns, I will check that the Mum's are OK and Lamb's are feeding. If the lambs are feeding, then all is good. Just by watching and observing on a regular basis, you know when something is wrong.
Tuesday, 7am, 17th July 2018.
This morning before I headed off to work, and on my routine flock check, I came across a new Mum who had given birth overnight. She was with s lamb who was walking and feeding, but not too far away, about 10m there was another lamb, in a little black ball, sat down in the grass, near the birthy gooey stuff, bleating for her Mum. I stood at a distance just watching, Mum & Lambie were bleating back and forth, but the little Lambie wasn't moving. So Mum had twins and after a while I went in for a closer look, and the Lamb was small, essentially a bag of bones, there was nothing to her. Looking at her twin, who was up and about, she was tiny. I gently picked her up to see if she could stand on her own, but she kept flopping back down on the ground. I tried a few times gently trying to get her to stand on her own, but she couldn't do it. What the heck do I do now?
I started running through scenarios in my head... If Lambie can't stand, then she can't get Mum's colostrum, and that is a problem. Lambie needs to stand. How do I make her stand? She needs to be stronger. How can I make her stronger? I can feed her, I can warm her up and then hopefully she will have enough energy to stand and walk to her Mum, so she can drink her Mum's colostrum.
So that is what I did. I sent a text message to work to say that I wasn't going to be in today and I picked up Lambie, and I took her back to the house.
Fortunately I was a little prepared, I had colostrum powder in the cupboard, for this very emergency. I quickly made up a small batch, and sat on the floor in the living room in the sun with Lambie and tried feeding her.
Feeding was painfully slow, she couldn't grasp the idea of sucking from the teat on the bottle, so I was giving her drops at a time. She was swallowing the colostrum that was getting in her mouth, and after a couple of hours, I think we managed to get through about 50mls. The more colostrum she took, the more active she became, after about 3 hours she was wobbling around, and had a very loud voice box, bleating whenever she lost sight of me.
At this point, I started calling her Priscilla, a Drama Queen, she was very loud and wanted constant company. After about 3 hours, I gave her another feed, and by this time she had finally worked out how to suck the teat, although she still needed help getting the teat in her mouth. After the second feed she was peeing, which was good to see, suggesting her insides are all working.
Lambie finally settled in for a nap, a short 15 minutes, but once she woke, she was very active, following me around the house, so I decided it was time to re-unite her with her Mum. Everything was going to plan.
I carried Lambie back down to where her Mum and twin were. I sort of cornered Mum, and put Lambie down, and I backed off, and with all the bleating going on, Lambie made her way back to Mum, and all was looking good. A lot of bleating a lot of sniffing by Mum, and just when I thought all was going well, Mum started head butting Lambie, pushing her away, then she walked away with her twin. Lambie couldn't keep up. I tried this scenario a few times, and Lambie really wanted to be with her Mum, she was very persistent, but I then decided, Mum really doesn't want her, and is happy with just the one lamb. So I went in to collect Lambie, who wobbled her back to me as I approached. It was time to adopt my first lamb.
We've had about 20 lambs born successfully over the last 3 years, so Lambie was to be my first lamb that we would have to raise by hand.
Back home, inside, Lambie seemed a little down, she was a bit quieter, I wondered whether she was sad about her Mum. I feed her a little more, and she slept a little after. Like before, after a short nap, she was very active up and about, being all "Lambie", so I started thinking, this girl just might make it. Even Max seemed to tolerate having her around.
I needed to start thinking about daycare, for when I was at work. With the help of my neighbour Lee, my friend Jane and myself, I had worked out a little roster for daytime feeding, for the next week. I set my alarm for every 3 hours during the night to feed Lambie. She was so skinny and small, we have to get her weight up, so small regular feeds would be required for the next week. So by about 8pm, I had a plan!
Unfortunately, that was all it was to be.
At 9pm, I was preparing a little more colostrum for her next feed, and as I picked up Lambie, who was sitting down, I noticed her little heart wasn't beating as quickly as before, and she was very limp, back to how she was earlier in the morning, so I realised something was wrong. From then on for the next 30 or so minutes she was on a very quick downward spiral. I tried putting her in a recovery position, what I thought might be a recovery position for a lamb, so her air/lungs were clear so she could breathe easily. I gently massaged her back, and under her chest, thinking if I can create some sort of circulation within her little body. I could see her eyes watching and moving with me, blinking slowly, she did let out the odd single bleat, but as time passed her little heart beat was weakening along with her breathing, both declining very quickly.
I knew she was dying, and there was nothing I could do. I was holding her head in my hands, and I still gently massaging her, talking softly to her, calling her name, and then she made one last bleat, and died then and there in my hands.
Time of death 9.50pm 17th July 2018.
I haven't felt sorrow, like this for quiet some time.
It was a very intense 14 hours with Lambie, I went to bed grieving for little Lambie that night. I'm so sorry Lambie, I'm so sorry I couldn't help you.
I will miss your little head butts and the sound of your bleating.
RIP Little Lambie.
