Life Down Wattle Lane v2 - We Miss You Max

It's just been a little over 1 day since we lost Max and the grief we both are experiencing is intense. I feel as if I have a hole in my chest, it's such a empty feeling. 

I find myself repeatedly asking.... 

What now? What the hell am I to do now that Max is gone? Our lives have been so all about Max. So now what do we do? Everything seems pointless. Our leader has gone. 

What if? What if I had challenged the vets diagnosis? What if there was more that we could have done? 

Did we do the right thing for Max? Max was an old boy, he was in distress... but should we have brought him home with us first? It all happened so quick. 

Oh my poor Max... we love you and miss you. 

Max was always a quiet cat, he never had a lot to say, but without him the house is so quiet and empty. When Max is in your presence there was always a conversation to be had, even though it might seem to be a onesided conversation, he would be listenting and looking back with his big eyes, blinking when in agreement. Max would sometimes mouth an answer to a question. When there was the 3 of us together the house just seemed so roudy... but now even the conversations between Gary and I are silent. We have a good strong relationship, but having Max he was the cement to our family stone. 

I MISS MAX... 

I miss coming home and he would be waiting at the door. Whenever I left home I would always be in a rush to get back home to see Max, he would be waiting 100% of the time. 

I miss the sound of his empty cat bowl being lifted and dropped repeatedly when he wants more food. 

I miss him guarding the shower door while I am showering... its as if he is protecting me when I am most vulnerable. 

I miss him climbing ontop of me when Im in bed and sliding off onto his back nice and snug next to me. 

I miss singing to him the Barney song when in bed. 

I miss the sound of him walking on the carpet. When his claws were a little long they would make a flick type sound. 

I miss our moments together with the brush. He really loved his brush. 

I miss sharing my KFC chicken and ham with Max. 

I miss sitting by the fire with Max. 

I miss the many times where I would nearly trip over him as he lay in the middle of the hallway. 

I miss going to the toilet to find it already occupied as Max was using his litterbox, so I had to wait my turn. 

I miss Max's company sitting around my feet when I am working on the desktop. 

I even miss the moments when we would both together hide from the thunderstorms. He hated thunder, the vacuum and the sound of pots & pans rattling. 

I miss turning a corner or walking into a room and finding you there Max... places I would normally expect you to be, you are not there Max.

I really miss you Max.

My mind might do otherwise but I will do my darndest to never forget you Max.

Life Down Wattle Lane v2 - RIP MAX

This morning we lost our very much beloved boy Max. 

Max was the child we could not have. Our lives were planned around Max's as he always had to come first.

We adopted Max in 2009, after I had finished my chemotherapy. I looked at the situation as a sign of hope and that there is more to this life. Max was my late father's name. Max the cat needed a forever home. I was in desperate need of hope. Having Max join our lives was a meant to be moment.

But after nearly 14 years sharing our lives together, and many adventures... it breaks our hearts that this journey has come to an end. We treated Max as our son.

At about 5am this morning I heard Max struggling, I jumped out of bed and discovered that he had lost the use of his rear legs. Yet the poor fella was still being the amazing cat he was and was trying to use his litter box.  I had never seen him like this before so I phoned the vet and I was barely keeping it together, as I knew he wasn't coming home. 

We rushed him to the after hours emergency vet and he was having heart issues and the vet believed he had formed clots which caused his legs to fail. Something along those lines... all I was hearing was this is the end... I knew this day would come but Max had been doing so well in his old age. We had built him steps to get up and down from the bed, we setup a litter box, he was drinking and eating well.

I was hoping that he would die peacefully at home someday. Sadly that was not the case and the vet said that he would be in pain and putting him to sleep was the kindest thing to do. So we stayed with Max until the very end.

Thankyou Max... Thankyou for being the greatest cat son we could have ever wished for!