Life Down Wattle Lane v2 - A Proud Shepherd Moment

Today my small flock of Arapawa ewes put their trust in me, and I have not been prouder of my girls.

It's been a hot dry summer with the El Nino this year and the grass in the main paddocks has all dried up and withered to very little fodder for my sheep.

So I have been taking the flock across the dry creek bed, through the paddock and across a second swampy type creek, that still has water in it and at least one eel that I spotted while possibly accidentally standing on it. We are heading to the farthest corner that has really gone wild due to no vehicle access to maintain it, but there is plenty of grass. 

The girls love it and the lambs jump with joy playing in their food.

Well today as we headed across the first creek, the girls leading the way... when all of a sudden I hear my ewes snorting, which is an alert sound they make to warn the rest of the flock. There was a wandering wolf... ok a dog... ok... a small fox terrier running towards the flock. The mumma sheep snorted and turned around and the entire flock promptly came running back across the creek and went behind me, so I was standing  in between them and the ferocious wolf.

The flock turned to me and looked to me for help. Ohhh! I am so touched... my sheep respect me... my sheep love me! I have been waiting my entire life for this day!

Don't worry girls... I got you! 

I ran towards the wolf scaring it away!

After all the kerfuffle, it took a little coaxing to encourage the sheep to continue on with our walk to the farthest corner... but we made it, all safe and sound.

I'm feeling very proud of my girls. We worked together to stay safe.

On a serious note wandering dogs, especially pet dogs are a real concern around sheep, especially with lambs at foot. 

Sheep being killed by wandering dogs is a very real thing.

Life Down Wattle Lane v2 - Life With Parkinson's 4 Years On

Firstly I very much dislike the term Parkinson's Disease... I dislike it as much as the disease itself.

Is it really a disease? I didn't catch it, I wasn't infected with it. I prefer to think of it as a "condition" or "disability", whereby my body is failing me, very much the same as age does to ones hairline, which I am inflicted with that condition too.

So how am I doing, 4 years in from my diagnosis? I am doing alright I guess. I have some regular issues that are constantly with me... tremors, walk/shuffle, balance and stiffness. There are another 30 or so issues that present themselves randomly from time to time. The issues can range from crying for no reason to struggling with spacial awareness when trying to park the car. So no two days are the same with Parkinson's.

Medication has been interesting. The main purpose of the medication is to try to replenish your dopamine levels that my body isn't producing. However the medication comes with some nasty side effects, and after 3 attempts with 3 different medications, with all 3 affecting me badly, I am currently off medication, by choice. I have a fourth medication here with me at home to start, but I am very hesitant. See the attached picture below with the very real side effects. The last issue was vomiting, violently. So my current position is that I can live a relatively ok lifestyle unmedicated. I can manage my symptoms day to day. So why do I have to gamble with the side effects of medication. The medical professional has advised me that I am over thinking it... really?? A neuro degenerative condition that is not curable... bloody oath I am going to over think it. From diagnosis I believe that you only have 10-15 good years, so I don't want to be adding to my issues with additional side effects. Plus the neurologist said that the medication will do nothing for my tremors.

My Parkinson's is very visual and for that when I meet a new person I am having to introduce myself and my Parkinson's. My line is "don't mind me, I have Parkinson's and my tremors have a mind of their own". I think I do this as I don't want to be mistakenly viewed as a junkie or alcoholic. For the record I don't really drink and have never done illegal drugs.

Parkinson's is also a very lonely condition. When I am on my own my issues are generally very minimal. However as soon as I start interacting with people it sets things off, and Parkinson's is extremely exhausting when it's all go. Even when a customer collects  a gate, just the 5 minute interaction can drain my energy levels. I believe it's an anxiety issue. So when I do leave home I generally have a precise plan of attack. I'm winning when I can get in and out of the supermarket with out any interaction with people. Hallelujah for the self checkouts. So yeah it's the quiet life that helps me cope and I'm ok with that.

Parkinson's is mentally challenging, in that it's an extremely frustrating condition. There's no cure, medication may or may not help you, you may have a long life or not, and you never know what one day will be like to another. 

A good example of this is Gary might suggest on Wednesday to have lunch with friends on Saturday.  Well that's 3 days away... I just can't foresee that far ahead as to what Parkinson's has instore for me. This requires a restuarant reservation and a commitment to our friends... that  is a lot of anxiety for me to make a decision. 

Parkinson's is very frustrating for me, but sometimes I feel more so for Gary as he looks to me for an answer... and I just don't have one this time. I am a very calculated person, and I generally always have a plan in life, but Parkinson's has taken that away from me.

Another very real daily challenge is Apathy. Parkinson's effects your emotions  and your interest in daily life... the lack of energy and willpower to care about anything. The "why should I bother?" I find with myself I'm constantly challenging myself to stay motivated and interested in life. 

So yeah, 4 years in... I just wish that the people studying Parkinson's would bloody hurry up and find a cure!